On Coping Mechanisms

You know what usually happens on days like yesterday -- where I have pressure upped in one arena (professional) and a small series of (what now seem like negative, but maybe that'll change with distance) unexpected changes in another (personal)? I go on a bike, or a run, or a long walk. When I say a long walk, of course, I mean LONG. Unhealthy long. Exercise is my primary coping mechanism. A couple weeks ago, I was running six miles a day, every day, and swimming about two miles at the pool. Again, every day. I felt stronger at the end of the day. A good friend asked why I was doing so much, told me not to do anything he wouldn't do. He's blessed with a high metabolism and with being able to lose himself to television. I'm envious of both these qualities. I wasn't training for an event, I just needed to cope with something I couldn't name.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, perhaps), these changes and pressure increases all happened AFTER I'd worked out for the day, after I'd showered, after I was already tired, after several emotional drainings, after dark. A friend, who could read this, but probably won't, suggested back in March that I find another way of dealing with problems. He couldn't offer specifics, because over-exercise is my problem, but he did ask if it would help if I had someone monitoring what I was doing, someone who would say, "Hey, instead of going for a run, why don't you sit here and watch this show with me."

I appreciated his concern, or the appearance of it. But, I told him it wouldn't help, because that's probably the truth. I'd probably delay the negative behavior, I said, rather than argue about it.

This is my method of self-destructing, in part because it's been my method of self-destruction for a while. Easy enough explanation, right? And a cop-out explanation to some extent. "Escapism," I called it this weekend. My friend in Austin, MN said to call it escapism--to think of it that way--was to trivialize what is a real body-image issue. This is true, in part, probably (though I haven't figured out how entirely). But also,  I like the endorphin high. And I like to feel powerful for the few minutes that I'm doing this exercise or that. And for a host of other reasons, which I'd rather not go into, at least not right now.

But the thing is, I know in the end, it doesn't really help. It delays me thinking about whatever it is I need to think about. It causes a cycle of self-doubt and to some degree, self-loathing. I could bake instead (except gluten-free baking is so expensive!), or call a friend, or drown myself in a pint of ice cream (oh, more self-loathing), or any other number of supposedly "better" coping mechanisms. But I don't know that these things work for me. I'm not convinced most of these things work for anyone.

I want to know though: what are your coping mechanisms? I think I need to try a new one on for size.

Barbecue Hummus!

Hormel Nature Center Wildflowers, West Prairie Loop

I had the opportunity this weekend to go visit a friend who is living in Austin, Minnesota for the summer. My friend and I biked around town (deviant behavior! Most people drive everywhere, though the town is small, with wide streets and wide shoulders) and visited the Hormel Nature Center (aside from the people finishing up a bike race, we were the only people we saw the entire time we wandered) where we walked about four miles, looked at prairie flowers and grasses, waded through streams, and got attacked by swarms of hungry mosquitoes. After this, we biked to Hy-Vee grocery and picked up supplies for dinner. I wore sunglasses pushed back on my head and we both had on backpacks. My friend pointed out that at least one person gave us a strange look. We bought grapes, apples, and peaches (apples and peaches for immediately consumption), and the black-bean burger ingredients his pantry was missing. At the checkout, I told the bagger I didn't need a bag--I'd just put things in my backpack. Another strange look. My friend said the same thing and the bagger looked disgusted with us.

You should know, when I arrived, his host parents asked first if I was a cyclist also (yes), and if I was also a vegetarian (yes). Austin, Minnesota, if you didn't know, is the home of Hormel and, as my friend later shared, his host family makes gentle (my interpretation, not his) fun of anything remotely deviant. They consider his bike to work (3 miles) a long bike. He has a car there, he just doesn't use it--and is considering getting rid of it altogether.

While we were making Veganomicon black bean burgers (with vital wheat gluten and bread crumbs despite my suspected gluten sensitivity--he knows about this and offered to leave both items out; I didn't feel like trying to figure out how to fix it if it went wrong and now thing that these could both be left out with no problem, fyi if you decide to try the recipe), my friend mentioned that since his experiment with Swiss chard hummus worked out, he wanted to try making barbecue hummus next.

Barbecue hummus! What a great idea (crediting this to him)! I asked how he planned to make it barbecue flavored and he responded "um, with barbecue spices, I guess. I thought about using barbecue sauce but decided that would be cheating." I agreed (though that didn't make the idea of using barbecue sauce less appealing--there are a couple of barbecue sauces made locally that I adore). My mouth watered for barbecue hummus after my friend mentioned this plan.

And so when I got home Sunday, I proceeded to make my own variation of barbecue hummus. I wanted to use up some of my dried beans, so I used about 1/4 pound of dried lima beans and a cup of red lentils (I didn't measure, so this is very approximate). I soaked them before cooking, and cooked them on medium heat for about an hour, adding water as needed. I added minced garlic halfway through the bean cooking time, and at the end, added barbecue spice (which I had on hand as a "free" sample--meaning if I came in and spent at least $5 they'd hand me a tiny jar as a reward--from the local bulk spice dealer, Penzey's). The result: delicious!

I don't currently have tahini, so it isn't included in this recipe, but if you have tahini and like it in your hummus (and I do, don't get me wrong) you should definitely add it.

Barbecue Hummus (amounts are approximate)
1/4 pound dried Lima beans
1 cup dried red lentils
Water
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon barbecue spices (I used BBQ 3000), or to taste
2 teaspoons smoked paprika
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt, optional, to taste

Soak your limas and lentils by boiling them in water (I use approximately a 2:1 ratio for soaking) for 1 minute and then covering and allowing to rest, off the heat, for 3 hours. Add more water (I like my hummus thin, but not runny) and boil the beans and lentils for 30 minutes, adding water if needed. Add the garlic and continue to cook another 30 minutes, or until tender. Stir in the BBQ spice, paprika, and lemon juice, then blend until smooth (I use an immersion blender, but a food processor or mashing by hand would work also) . Taste and add salt, if desired.

Chill and serve.

Note: The hummus will thicken as it cools. Also, there aren't pictures of the hummus itself, because it turns an unappealing (on the camera) color. Mine looks prettier in person--BUT the exact color will vary based on the spices you use.

Product Review: Food Should Taste Good Hemp Chips

My co-op is running a sale for the first two weeks of July on Food Should Taste Good Hemp Chips (but none of the other Food Should Taste Good products), so I decided to give the chips a try. I love the FSTG sweet potato chips best, but haven't disliked any of their chips so far.

The same is true for these hemp chips, which to be honest, are glorified blue corn tortilla chips. In fact, organic blue corn is the first ingredient, followed by high oleic sunflower and/or safflower oil, THEN hemp seeds, corn bran and sea salt. All ingredients I can pronounce. Pronounceable ingredient lists is becoming increasingly important to me.

The chips have a nice crunch, are about the same size as traditional tortilla chips (but a bit thicker than many commercially available brands), and aren't particularly salty.

Chip Relative to Picture on Package

But I'd have liked a little more...hemp flavor. Hemp has a distinctive flavor--if you've ever gone the hemp nut or hemp seed milk, you know what I'm talking about, a mild nutty taste (geez, this is true of so many seeds that it feels like a non-description). It's there, but subtle.

If you've tried FSTG products before, you should give these a try. And if you haven't...maybe try one of the more interesting chips first. They aren't, nutritionally speaking, much better for you than regular chips -- similar calorie counts, more or less fat and protein depending on the variety you pick -- but they are lower sodium, which is important for some diets, gluten-free, non-GMO, certified vegan and kosher, etc. And they taste much better than most traditional chips I've tried (and I don't think that's just a psychological result of the name). These are the reasons you should try FSTG chips. And, if you're bringing chips and dip/salsa for a party, the hemp chips, or most of the other varieties would be great (maybe not the chocolate for anything but a sweet dip? I haven't tried it, but the website indicates these are good crumbled on ice cream. Hm....)

Also, if you're in the "you can get high off hemp; it should be banned" camp, you're wrong. Technically, you could get high off industrially raised hemp, I suppose, but according to my research its bred to have an incredibly low THC level (this is what gets people high) in favor of being much more fibrous. The THC that is present on the outer portion of the seed can be "dabbed off with alcohol" or scrubbed off with a brush. In other words, you'd have to eat a lot of raw hemp. A lot.